I understand why the Israelites complained.

When I used to read about the Exodus, I could never understand the Israelites. They had clearly seen the Lord move in power multiple times and they still doubted him, time and time again. How can a person be delivered in such dramatic ways and still doubt the Lord? How does a person manage to muster the audacity to complain against God after seeing plagues, pillars of cloud and fire, a sea parted and an army decimated, bitter water turned pure, manna and quail, and water coming out of a rock? Well today, I feel like I may have gained some insight into this situation.

After a week and a half of seeing God provide for me in amazing and completely unexpected ways, upon moving into my dorm room in Haifa, I began to feel like complaining. When I thought about how easy it was to lose sight of everything else except for my frustration, it sort of shocked me back into thinking clearly. Somehow I realized that, just like the Israelites, I was already doubting God again even though I had seen the Him take care of me so well.

Let me recount the ways God has moved in power in my own life just since I’ve come to Israel. Although, I haphazardly came here without anyone, the Lord saw my need before it was there and he provided for me. He provided me with Dalton, Amir, Dana, Zohar, Regev, Regev’s family, Avishay, and Arik. I didn’t have a place to stay or food to eat without having to pay a lot of money, but the last week and a half, my new friends here have given us a place to stay and whatever food we want for free. I came to Israel to get to know Israeli’s hoping for good conversations with strangers and the Lord gave me friends. Whenever Dalton and I became lost or desperate, there was always some random person who would help us out. The more unpleasant or stressful the situation, the more God showed up in the end. In all these things this and in more ways than I can list, He has been completely faithful. I don’t just believe in the notion that He is faithful; I’ve tasted and seen the fruit of his faithfulness here.

But you see there’s this feeling that you get, whenever you have been in a difficult situation for a while and you get to a place where you think you’ve pushed through the worst of it, only to find that it was just the beginning. I was looking forward to Haifa as being a place where I could enjoy having a nice room to relax in. I imagined that my place here would be something like traditions at OU, nice and pleasant with cool roommates like Jermaine, with whom I would hang out with and develop relationships with. However, when I got here, after several stressful public transportation experiences, I found that it was not all I had hoped it to be. All of my roommates were in their rooms, except for one who quickly went into his without saying anything, and the place was not very nice. It would not be so bad, except that it’s Israel and there is no a/c in my room.

So, I found myself in the same situation as the Israelites, feeling abandoned and wanting to complain after witnessing great miracles of provision. How can this be?

Well, first of all, there’s the heat. There is something about being hot, that just makes you want to complain; I think if I was nice and cool right now, I would be having a much easier time maintaining a positive attitude. I imagine the same was true for the Israelites. I guess the other part, is that we are forgetful, broken, people, and we are blinded sometimes by the painfulness of being in the desert. But what I do know is that God is in the desert and the pain, and that he is close to the broken-hearted.

So Jesus, thank You for leading me into the desert in Israel. I didn’t plan on this, but I know that it is what’s best. Thank You for the brokenness and the suffering, and the fear and doubt that you deliver me from. Thank You for always providing me people, who love me and whom I can love; You have torn my heart open again and allowed me to feel new levels of love and appreciation for them. Bless the people that are praying for me. Use me in their lives as you are using them in mine. Thank You for my wonderful family and for letting me talk to Mama and Natalie tonight. God, I even thank you for the lack of air conditioning and friends right now. I embrace this desert and I look forward to the ways that you will speak tenderly to me here.
--BC

Hosea 2:14-16

14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

16 "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.